Teardown real estate lingo full#
Teardown real estate lingo free#

Selling as is – Seller doesn’t want to do any repairs. This house has plenty of problems they don’t want you to know about.Ģ6. They’ve been in and out of contract four times, but there’s no previous inspection reports. Back on the market – “Do you have any previous inspection reports?”, you ask the Realtor ®. Bring all offers – Please, my client is going to cancel my listing contract if I don’t sell this house!Ģ5. This house needs more than a paint job!Ģ4. Bring your paint brush and hammer – Or maybe your jackhammer. Plan on spending your life savings fixing it back up.Ģ3. Seasonal creek – Backs up to a drainage ditch which overflows when it rains.

Hot property – Located next to nuclear waste dump.Ģ1. Lots of sunlight – You won’t need an oven, but you’re air conditioning bill will be more than your mortgage.Ģ0. Nearby park – Plan on parking two blocks away on weekends, because all of the soccer moms will be blocking your driveway.ġ9. Maybe it will be a great investment in the next recession.ġ8. Great Investment opportunity – This condo conversion project is way over budget. They’re desperate to find someone willing to pay more than the house is worth.ġ7.

Teardown real estate lingo full#

Motivated seller – Overpriced and hasn’t had any full priced offers in three months. Lovingly maintained – The owners love how it looks just like it did 50 years ago when the owner moved in. Hidden gem/diamond in the rough – This house will stay hidden until someone removes all of broken windows, dry rot and deferred maintenance.ġ5. Don’t forget to bring your old doll house furniture so you’ll have a place to sit.ġ4. Cozy/charming – Built before tiny houses were cool, and when Desi and Lucy slept in separate twin beds. Dream house – While the agent is dreaming of what they’ll do with the commission if they can ever sell this house, the seller is dreaming of finally moving on.ġ3. Please, don’t tell the owners it looks hideous.ġ2. Pride of ownership – They’re really proud of the DIY job they did. Not haunted – Really? That has to be good right?ġ1. The good news is you’ll have plenty of white noise in every room.ġ0. You may also want a respirator for all of the car exhaust. Close to freeway – Bring your earplugs to deaden the traffic noise. Might be time to write a cash offer, sight unseen on this one.ĩ. When you finally make an appointment, the Realtor ® lockbox is strangely missing and the tenant isn’t home.

Going to be hard to ever see the inside of the house. “No, the boss isn’t in” and neither is the tenant. Tenant occupied – Worse than trying to get past the boss’ receptionist to make an appointment. There’s still a lot of blight in the neighborhood.Ĩ. Up and coming neighborhood – The weeds are up in the neighbors’ yards and the landscaper isn’t coming. Lots of character – Is this the Winchester Mystery House? No, but they both must have had the same designer.ħ. Oh, and don’t forget to bring your mosquito repellent.Ħ. Waterfront property – Don’t plan on swimming here. Or if you are in Los Angeles, you’ll have to wait for the smog to clear for your peek a boo view of the mountains.ĥ. You’ll have to really stretch to see beyond your nudist neighbor’s back yard. Peek a boo view of the mountains– Get your ladder out to crawl onto your roof.

At the time, toilet paper was harder to buy than a house on a busy street.Ĥ. He finally added “Free Toilet Paper with Every Purchase”. Outstanding Results” had a home he was trying to sell on a busy street during the COVID-19 outbreak. Brian Mitry who advertises “Exceptional Service.

Teardown real estate lingo free#

Free toilet paper with every purchase – Our personal favorite. The next door neighbor is a sixty year old nudist who exhibits their freedom in their backyard.ģ. It’s a dump outside, but the inside promises to be different.Ģ. Must see inside – Please don’t judge the property by it’s lack of curb appeal. Here’s our top 31 phrases Realtors ® use to attract buyers to houses that are difficult to sell.ġ. One agent, Michael D’Elena, tapped in on the gluten free craze and started advertising his listings as Gluten Free. When real estate agents, or their buyers get desperate to sell houses, they can come up with some pretty funny ways to describe problems.